Why is everything so hard?

This separation is really starting to take its toll on me. For the first week, I just was so mad, that I didn't really deal with it. The second week I was so busy, I could just pretend it wasn't happening.... but now it is sinking in. Gabs daddy went away this weekend. He announced last night that he'd be gone and don't expect to hear from him until Sunday night when he will call us. I asked where he was going, he wasn't interested in telling me, I asked what he'd be doing, again, nothing.

We have started to tell people, i.e. our parents, and a couple close friends. Turns out I didn't need support until a couple people knew, now I feel like I am absolutely falling apart. I think telling people made it more real.

Fridays used to be my favorite day of the week, but I dreaded 3:00 today. I had to go pick up Gabs (which I love doing) but we then had 72 hours stretching out in front of us with no real plans. How lonely. Our house was the last place I wanted to be.

Don't get me wrong. I love my Gabs more than anything in the world but it's not easy to spend the weekend with just a 2 year old and a pomeranian for companionship. We have errands to run, but it's not worth it unless I am uber organized and can make sure that I can run the errands quickly, and get everything I need while I am out.

I guess I am super whiny tonight, but I haven't had a chance to throw myself a pity party yet since Gabs daddy left... perhaps this is the start of it.